Rad Dad: Edward III

This bad ass bitch started the 100 Year War (1337–1453)  so his 9-ish, legitimate, (exact number is a little unclear) could inherit an Empire - would your dad do that for you?

 Surprisingly he was a good husband as well, keeping in constant contact to his wife, Philippa, who he left in charge of important functions of state while he was absent, which is some far out liberal shit for the 14th century.  Well a good husband except for the affairs and multipal love children. 

Edward was an indulgent father who did stuff like give his infant (the Black Prince) an entire household, filling their medival bank accounts with HUGE sums of cash, and by showering them with fancy things like "tight hoes" (get your minds out of the gutter!) 

However it wasn't all sunshine, rainbows, and kittens in Edwards house, he also used his kids as pawns in careless rounds of dynamic political negotiations. In 1340 Edward took, what some would call "a fucking act of shocking stupidity and WTFness" announced himself King of France - so he attempted to use his children to chill those French fucks out. This was obviously shitty for his kiddies. 

Here is Horrible Histories' account of ALL the English Kings & Queen