Sometimes we are reminded in a particularly disturbing way why it is that kids are such creepy weirdos. My five year old likes to poke you right in the crack when you bent down - fucking little sicko. Holy hell talk about feeling uncomfortable! It wouldn't bother me so much if this wasn't a regular occurrence and was limited to family members. Everyday is a constant battle to protect mine and my friend's assholes from my creep kid.
The worst of it is that when I shout "LEVE MY BUM ALONE" I am pretty sure that the neighbors can hear me, I know that I can hear there all night coke parties. That's a lesson for anyone that is buying house, make sure your future neighbors aren't coke-heads.
All kids are little creeps, there are the ones who like to whip out there little baby dinks in supermarkets, the ones that like to suck toes, the face lickers, the kissers, they ones that like to say vagina just for the hell of it, kids are all different - but they are all little weirdos.
Well I am now safe in the knowledge that I can use this post as a a threat to my future 12 year old. "Hey Shit Head! Clear your room or else I'm posting the Butt Poker post of your Facebook!"
Well I experienced an ass smacker from one of my friend's little assholes today. Yep while we were standing in the backyard of a property we were viewing, in front of the home owner this little 3 year old hopped up on Christ knows how many bags of fruit snack runs right up and smacks my butt. Looks up at me and smiles. Then a little later his 4 year old brother puts his sweaty face on my forearm, grabs my hand, glances at my manicured nails and what I could only assume in awe proceeds to bite my nails. Weirdos.
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