Friday, September 21, 2012

Getting Old is Shitty



Great news! I found all the hair I plucked out of my eyebrows in the 90's to give that sperm-brow effect we all wanted! It has all turned up on my upper lip.




I turn 30 this January, which is enough to make most people cry and for an unstable bitch like myself - well it would be enough to send me right off the deep end! 

What I want to know is where did all this hair came from? I am pretty sure that I haven't always had a hairy chin and chest? I also want to know what happened to the hair I had before, that I could just happily shave away in my weekly shower (you heard me)? Now shaving is about as painful as receiving a hysterectomy from a hook for hand pirate - ARRRRRHHHHH


The worst part about an aging body? That you realize now how good your body was when you were a ferm 18 year-old and how you waited that body because you thought you were fat and spent your time contemplating an eating disorder..."hummm I'm too lazy to barf this meal up, and I'm not hungry not to eat this one, these M&Ms looks good, I only ate the 1 turkey" num num num. What a fucking waist! If I had that body now I would be the sluttiest mum hitting the playground, who needs pants when you have great legs? 

1 comment:

  1. Glad you dumped me :) I didnt stick around .. Your blog is great.. I know nothing about kids.. Oblivious oblivion is good xo darren

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