Easy Halloween kids costumes for the not so crafty

When I started researching this what was coming up in a search for: “easy kids Halloween costumes” I was floored by what the internet classifies as “easy”. I did not have in mind getting out the glue gun, Styrofoam balls (that are not as easy to find as they make out), paper fabric (I don’t even know what that is!), or sewing of any kind. What I did have n mind was a pillowcase with some eye hole – viola a ghost!

So I have taken it upon my very clever (and modest) self to compile a list of ACTUAL easy kids Halloween costumes. So here you go – your welcome!

1. The Missing Kid on the Milk Carton 

Easy peesy this one. Step 1. Buy milk. Step 2. drink milk. Step 3 cut a hole on milk carton. Step 4. Stick on your kid's head. 

                                                                                                          2. Someone you know

This is a beautiful picture of me dressed as my "Fat Slob Husband" while 8 months pregnant. 

There is only one step to this costume: dress your kid in someone else's clothes. Done. 

3. The Fridge

I don't have a photo for this one, as it is something I just farted out right now. 

Here is what you do: staple some kid "art" to a white shirt. We all have loads of that shit, by shit i mean kid's art lying around the house. People are always asking me what to do with it, well here's the answer. 

4. Paper Bag Princess 

I'll tell you this, it was hard working searching for an image of this that wasn't a slutty adult version. What is it about Halloween that brings out the slut in everyone? Any way I look at it it comes down to some nasty Lolita pedophile shit. Any ways....

Step 1:  cut arm holes in paper bag. 

Step 2: make a crown from yellow paper. 

Step 3: have a stiff drink to distact yourself from the thoughts that you are contemplating sending your small child to walk to the cold October streets at night in nothing but a paper bag. 

                                                                                                           

5. Shop Bought 

You know deep down in your black heart that this is what they actually want, so why delude yourself with delusions of Martha Stewart and craft blogs that you can make a decent Halloween costume that your kid will like? In reality your kid will love you more for just buying the damn costume like a normal person.