Guest Blogger: Insights from the other dinosaur your parents were too afraid to tell you about: SPRAGINA

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  I have known SPRAGINA since she was the fat kid that talked to the wall in elementary school. Who would have known that that kid would turn out to be a parenting hating, qualified, and working psycho therapist ? Not Mr Locock, our 6th grade teacher, that's for sure. 

  So SPRAGINA what do you think about parents? 

  
  

  SPRAGINA

  As a non-parent, married 30 year old woman with a dog, a house and a career the first thing I need to make clear is that I have nothing against 95% of children and 95% moms.

  In fact, I love most children (except for the really whiny, dirty little creeps which I can openly write about because if any of you moms has one of these little vermons, you have no idea because I've noticed that no matter how miserable your child is, you still think he/she is a perfect little angel and often post even MORE pictures and updates about how cute he/she is on facebook - WHICH I believe is actually a subconscious defense mechanism to cope with the fact that deep down you actually DO realize that perhaps your child may be a whiny, dirty, little brat and posting endless pictures and updates about how wonderful he/she is - is actually an attempt to convince yourself and the world of this.) However that is a whole other topic. I also have many friends that are stay at home or working moms and are wonderful, considerate and great people and I have lots in common with them.

  What I am writing about is the smaller percentage of people (and yes, most of them are women. In fact I don't think a man has ever asked me any of these questions. And yes, most of them are moms) who constantly ask judgmental, assuming and annoying questions. Let's be clear - it's the questions that are annoying no matter who they are coming from. This is not a anti-mom rant, if a 80 year old man or a teenager, or my client, or a coworker, or a non-parent friend asked me these questions they would be just as annoying. The truth is though that in my experience it is ONLY that small 5% of stay at home moms that ask - I will from now on call them "SuperMoms" to differentiate them from normal, perfectly lovely stay-at-home moms.

  Question #1: WHEN are you going to have kids?

  This is the most common annoying question that I am asked generally once per week. As I mentioned, I am 30. I am married. I have a dog. I just moved into a house. All of these factors somehow give people permission it seems to ask WHEN, not IF. It is as if my lifestyle factors (house, dog, husband) thus far make the option of not having kids COMPLETELY unacceptable or unimaginable. And I'm not saying I will or I won't have kids. It is the assuming judgmental air of the question that makes you feel as though you need to change your life, or you arn't doing something right, that pisses me off.

  What I want to reply with: WHEN are you going to get a Career?

  This response would JUST as rude, JUST as assuming, JUST as judgmental, and most likely make the person also feel as though they are somehow failing as a human being/woman JUST as much. However, this question would be way less socially acceptable and would likely create way more defensiveness and gossip about what a bitch I am. And for all of these reasons, is why I NEVER ASK THIS.

  However, you know what the difference is? Not only do I think not having (or having) a career is a perfectly acceptable option for a mom/dad, non parent, I DONT GIVE A SHIT who has a career or not! I work at my career Monday to Friday, 40 hours per week. I don't really want to spend my time off asking or wondering about other people's career or lack of a career. WHO CARES?

  So, I'm wondering if being a stay-at-home SuperMom is the constantly busy, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week job - Why the hell does this small percentage of them want to think, talk, or ask WHEN everyone else is having kids? WHO CARES?

  Answer? Because for that 5% of stay at home SuperMoms, motherhood is like a cult. Yes, I said it. They are the ones that start "*******" are only friends with other SuperMoms, blog about how to properly sanitize a soother, and other totally fascinating topics. And I am seen as a potential candidate for their cult. I could host mommy-and-tot mothergoose in my backyard at 1pm on a Tuesday, serve homemade baked goods with the recipe cards attached and gossip about WHEN all the other women who are at work are going to have kids.

  
  

   SPRAGINA we solute you. You get 5 Gerri Halliwell heads for girl power