Roman Dinner Parties Were Terrifying: Domitian

(Domitian, emprtor 81-96 CE, Dion 67.9)
To understand this you first need to understand the connection Romans had between food and power, for example if you went to a roman dinner party of 20 people not everyone would be served the same food and wine, if you were from the upper crust and your host wanted something from you then you would get the good stuff - if you were there looking for a handout, you get last night's leftovers and luke warm donkey piss water.

 Roman emperors were notorious douche bags when dinner invitations where concerned, here is Domitian being a class A asshole. 

To pump his self up he "prepared a room that was pitch black on every side, ceiling, walls and floor, and made ready bare couches of the same colour resting on the on the uncovered floor". He then told all the guest's attendants to take a hike, making them arrive alone in the dark. 

When the guests arrived they were handed a "slab like a grave stone" baring the guests name - now this was a little more than a Halloween joke as Domitian was actually more likely to bust a daggar in your scull durring dinner than not. So it is safe to say that by this point the guest were shitting bricks. 

Next to come was the naked, blacked-up, "comely boys baring gifts of all the goodies that were offered durring sacrifice. Throughout the dinner all the guests kept quite listening to their host babble nonstop about death and slaughter. I am guessing they were all pretty busy trying to figure out what the smell is, as it is likely that some of the guest bowls had sprung a leak by this point. 

Well the guests did make it out of Domitian's villa alive, however, when they arrived home there was a knock on the door and they all "expecting to perish at this time"- it was the little, hot, naked boy, baring gifts of gold, silver and all kinds of other junk like that. 

SURPRISE! It was all just a joke and some kind of mind-fuck power game. Oh those Roman Emperors! 

Other Roman Emperors did other terrible things to their guests like: having the guests drown in petals, leading them into rooms containing lions, tigers and bears, serving food make from wood, and food covered with magots (remember if you didn't eat this shit - curtains). 

Here is Horrible histories' Roman Come Dine with Me: