No kids = Good times

I spent the last three days playing Sasha-no-kids all over London – and FUCK was it ever great! This is what you jerks with no kids get to do every damn weekend.

I went to two Westend shows (single ticket an hour before show means you get front row seats for 25 bucks), British Museum, Tate Modern, Klien photography exhibition, two full days of intense lectures with celebrity historian (that’s a real fucking thing!) Mary Beard, got drunk at lunch and just stayed that way until bedtime – that’s what you guys do every weekend! You can afford to aswell because you don’t have the money leeching, party pooping, soft play area fans, know as kids, to fucking deal with and pick up the tab for. 

And you know what? As I was half cut after lunch today walking down Fleet Street, pulling my mini suitcase (not possible to have one of them with kids), pretending that I was in the opening credits of the Apprentice (whistling the tune is an added effect, so others know what you are doing), I seriously thought: “you know, I think that this moment of bliss is just as good as pushing a kid out your cootch” – seriously. 

So next time some jerk face parent tries to tell you that having kids is what make the world go round or whatever fuck shit they are trying to sell you – just think – this asshole is never going to get to try on shoes for the sole purpose of free nylon socks.