Who needs real life when you have literally 10s of people living inside your computer? They don't sleep, there is always some jerk, somewhere awake, if you says something you regret, you just delete and hope no one saw, you can make your self sound like the love child of Stephen Hawking and Mary Beard's older, smarter sibling, thanks to Wikipedia, and the only thing you have to do is troll new mothers on Yahoo Answers.
So fuck reality! What's so great about reality anyways? You have shit to do it reality, likely boring shit too, like cleaning, work, or playing Thomas The Tank for 6,000th time. Reality is also full of assholes, not the kind that live in the computer that call you Hitler or Atheist scum (internet asshole are so clever and original - no) , assholes who want money for electricity, life insurance, and male morning shift strippers who gots to be paid.
In the computer there are cats that look like Ron Weasley, celebrities having babies and naming them after feminine hygiene products all kinds of crazy shit like that! My real friends don't do stupid shit like that.
Being on the wagon makes it a lot harder for me to rant about not wanting to live in reality, and the f bombs are less flowering. Being on the wagon is boring, almost as boring as living in reality.
What do sober people do in the evenings? I'm like 6 weeks ahead of stuff thanks to not drinking for a week. I don't want to talk to anyone sober, this way I am actually listening to what they are saying - and what they are saying I aint' interested in. 2 classes of wine not only makes me funnier, smarter, and more interesting, it does that for everyone I come into contact with as well - "oh you got a new babysitter? That is fascinating and very clever of you".
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