Rod Stewart May Not Have A Stomach Full of Cum But He Does Have A Butt Full Of Coke

I woke today to the hard hitting, absolutely devastating news that all those tummy full of cummy Rod Stewart rumors were a load of porky pies, next thing we'll find out that Richard Gear doesn't have entire colony of gerbils stored up his no-no hole. 

However, my faith in hot Rod and humanity has been restored by some of the thought provoking literary genius of Rod's auto biography, Rod: The Autobiography. I wonder how many interns it took to come up with that innovative and totally artistic title? 

In his magnum opus Rod reveals the most WTF way he ever did drugs. Rod claims that because his, and then Little Faces bandmate Ronnie Wood's, hungry nostrils were on a diet they decided that their hungry butt holes could use a good turn at hovering up the bad shit. 

This is what hot Rod had to say about it: 

" we  found another method of taking the drug. We put them in a little pill like the French do them, a suppository. We did that for a little while."

French people pop coke up their butts? That's not very classy? BUT very avant garde
 and a little pretentious - so maybe? 

Rod then claims that he was never a messy fuck up drug addict like the jerks we see on TV, actually like  the jerks he fathered that we see on TV. 

I guess nothing says you've made it like poking coke up your asshole. Celebrities are so wacky like that!