Hans Christian Anderson: scared that his masterbation addiction would cause his penis to fall off

Han Christian Anderson (1805-75), the Danish storyteller responsible for some of the most popular children's stories ever told, such as The Little Mermaid, the Ugly Duckling, and Thumbelina, endured a life of misery of operatic proportions. 

As a teenager Han's had a lot going for him like being  very pretty, not handson and strapping; pretty and effeminate. He was also a dopey fuck, people often asked his mother if he was blind because he walked into so much shit. His walk was unintentionally comical, one contemporary described it as: "a hopping along almost like a monkey" . And to just ice this turd cake Han's also was a slow learner, when he was 17 he was in a class 11 and 12 year olds - Cool guy this Hans. 

And just because some kids get all the lucky breaks several biographies, including his own  autobiography, The Improvisatore, hint that Hans was sexually abused as a child, possibly at the hands of his school teacher - maybe that is why he was held back for so many years?

So as he entered adulthood Han's was worse for wear. He was deeply neurotic,plagued by stress induced toothaches, deep fears of burning to death, and convinced that his addiction to masterbation would lead to his penis falling off. He was so ashamed by his own physic that he stuffed his shirts with news papers. 

As we know Han's fame as a story teller was vast, this meant that he got to rub elbows with all kinds of fancy shits like: Balzac, Victor Hugo, and Alexander Dumas, however they all felt that poor Han's was a creepy fuck and very annoying. 

Hans was also unlucky in love. While the idea of seeing a naked woman made him shit is little pants, none of his gay crushes were reciprocated and he died a virgin. Not only did he die a virgin, he died alone. Han's had requested that a close friend from childhood and his family, be buried along with him, however after he had died that family said: "fuck that shit" and changed their minds.