Me:I'm hungover and too lazy to write right now and what I wrote in draft last night is too illegible to read, so this guest blog, from first ever guest blogger Goodies, comes as a real life saver. Thanks Goodies.
Goodies:
Alright got one for you. Came to me in the shower when I was thinking about someone who hates who their married to, but stays in it for the sake of the kids. Suckers.
Goodies Pearls of Wisdom
A goddamn good reason why it's important to remember why kids *are* creepy weirdos, it’s because those little turds keep you bonded to the other human being you created the darlings with in the first place.
During a time when you were duped into thinking that your love was so romantic and like no other, “Hey! Let’s fuck this shit up and make a babby out of it!”
Now it might be hard for some to believe, there was a time when I thought a babby flying out of my vagina was a good idea. One notion I had was, “oh me and the love of my life (fucking shithead) are not like other couples, and I want to make our love official, to tie us together… forever!!! Squee!!!”
Then a memory I have was of every time I went to a damn babbyshower, I was green with envy. Not for the arrival of the bundle of joy. But, holy hell that is a lot of free baby swag those assholes get! Nah not worth it. Remember, idiots. When you make those sweeties, you’re tied to that dickwad FOR…EVER and ever and ever. Or until one of you kicks the bucket. Anyway. When the slag calls you for that child support payment while you’re trying to get into Wet Wanda’s panties. Not so romantic now is it? And let’s face it, would you really want to deal with a psychotic bitch twat like me for the rest of your good years? Shit. I don’t. I down more than enough lethal cocktail combos to tranquilize a large petting zoo animal.
God bless.
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