When you fly via airports that optimize the 21st
century by NOT having wifi you are left to get drunk and stare at the all the
jerks walking past you.
I am guessing that some people may call me a racist for all
the cultural serotypes I am about to spew out, but I figure as I am making fun
all cultures equally that makes it ok. So here are some of the highlights:
1. Scandinavians are some
hot practical bitches! Fucking vampire Eric and Jaime Lannister with gumboots,
the lot of them! Is that what it is like up there in the ice tundra? Just a
bunch of sexy bitched in sensible shoes?
2. Eastern Europeans need
less Ed Hardy in their lives and more food – those jerks are all fucking skinny
bitches
3. Americans and Canadians
are LOUD talkers because they are used to a lot of space, so for anyone to hear
them they have to shout at eachother – much in the same way that Chines or
Indians are real close talkers – they are used to being crammed into
everything.
4. A lot of people (women) from
England do not know how to put make-up
on. JESUSCHRIST! Your face is not a coloring book (thanks Maria). English
people also do not know how to speak English. “Shtoopid” ? it’s stupid asshole.
5. The “Australian
socialite”, or so she has called herself at lest three times since I have been
sat next to her at the bar. By Australian socialite I assume she means that she
wears her underpants on the inside of her jeans and only cooks up Siberian tiger
prawns on the barbie. She’s been talking about her “glamorous alcoholic
grandmother”, as someone who comes from a family with more than one alcoholic I
know there is no much thing as a glamorous alcoholic – however what this girl
means, apparently, is that her grandmother drinks whiskey and not barfed up
Foster’s from the toilet basin.
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