Alexander Skarsgard was photographed yesterday leaving a restaurant, hugging (that's fancy talk for a Mexican avalanche) a woman who apparently looks like looks like Alicia Vikander, who is some dumb bitch that I never heard of but now want to be. Hard hitting, credible news sources Star Magazine and The National Enquirer fucking spit hateful lies that my imaginary boyfriend and this bitch have been bumping uglies all damn month!
There is also some pretty hot gossip that vampire Eric has been spreading his joyous aura of unicorn rainbow jizz all over Namibia - for you lowbrow scum, Namibia is not a hot slut, it's a country. A country that is currently playing host to Charlize Theron. US Weekly reported that Charlize and Alex were “casually dating” in April - those haters be lying!
Hey Eric! Get your dick out of Charlize and Alicia - it's wanted else where!
You're so deluded, he's MINE!!!!!
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