Kids have some kind of super power that enables them to either be a concrete block or turn themselves into liquid form. Crafty fuckers are good at stalling and making your life hell.
JESUS! This amazing ability that they have seems to only come out when you are trying to get them in a car seat, and preferably infront of an audience of judgy peers.
PARTENT: "OK lovey, were going in the car"
KID: "Fuck you! Imma going to be a plank of wood and make it physically imposible for you to cram me into that harness unless you break my bones, muthafucka".
PARENT: "OK, get out love bug, you just stand here while I adjust the straps"
KID:" Double fuck you, Imma going turn myself into liquid and lose the ability to stand on my own - I'm a fucking over cooked noodle - asshole, and the dirty concret floor of this parking lot is where I am going collapse"
Kids are asshole - so my advise is to just break those fucking bone and get them in that damn seat - they fucking asked for it! - don't actually, prolly best to just get in your Way-back-when machine and use a condom.
Oh what fond memories this blog evoked
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should have a one night stand and have another?
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