Iron-Man who needs him? Not me.
I went on a super hot date with a 5 year old to see Iron-Man 3 tonight. When I asked my date what he thought of the film he said: "why doesn't he do anything? The Easter Bunny had some real cool claws and can tap his foot to make a porthole to ANYWHERE`". So he may not be able to tel the diference between Hugh Jack-me-off as Wolverine or the Easter Bunny - whatever.
If kids (even kids who date 30 year olds) think that the Easter Bunny is more of a bad ass than you - you've got problems. Good fucking point kid. I mean seriously, the manger from Hotel Rwanda can do just as much and more - well except for becoming a medical doctor at the end.
That may not make so much sense to any non-parents out there, but that's just too fucking bad. When they say that you just don't get it until you have kids, they aren't talking about life and shit - they are talking about this post on my shitty blog.
Any ways. Iron-Man has never been a Magneto cool guy - but in the third film he is like 1990's Superman lame. There are about 200 suits and Gwyneth 'Goopy" Paltrow in a sports bra. They save the president of 'Merica and a young boys dreams all in one swoop. Iron man doesn't want to me Iron Man any more because Gwyneth says that being in a band is a bad influence - oh that's real life and Chris Martin - sorry- ,Gwyneth says that being Iron Man is too dangerous and hurts their relationship. I'm getting sick reading this. I may go have a look at the last Beiber post for a little palet refreshment. We all Robert Downy JR is contractually binded to do Avengers 2. So suck it up Tony.
Gross man. Usualy when I think of Taylor Swift the first thing that comes to my mind is luke warm cream, and maybe Anne Hathaway reading a Brontë book (doesn't matter which book or by which sister - they are all boring as, well Anne Hathaway's shit) written in Sansnormal font. Not today.
Here's Taylor giving the face of ick as she witnesses Justin Bieder sucking face with Selina Gomez. If this doesn't give you the hibbie jibbies you should call up SVU and tell them you are ready to replace Marishka Hargitay because you are made of some seriously hardcore shit.
I don't know when or why (WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!) this picture was taken but some should be arrested for distributing child pornography. Blaaack.
If anyone wants to give me a hard time for hating on Justin Beider, you can go jump in a lake. This guy, this guy (I use that term loosely). Here is a quote from a speech he gave while accepting some maky-up award for being a douche or whatever:
"I'm 19 years old. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. And basically, from my heart, I really just want to say, it should really be about the music, it should be about the craft, the craft that I'm making. This is not a gimmick. I'm an artist and I should be taken seriously, and all this other bull should not be spoken of."
Ok pal. Some hos in the audience agreed and started booing his ass. Surprisingly, the Biebs didn't puff up like a Power Puff girl on her period and threaten pull the heads off all haters Barbies dolls as his bodyguard held him from his suspenders The Biebs just kept on spewing some ridiculous shit about how he's not a gimmick and is a true artist.
Put on the Carpenters because I am about to have a nice warm bath with the toaster. Apparently we have to take toddlers seriously who wear sunglasses at night inside and leather jammies to award cerimonies. Someone really should have told his teenage mother about wire hangers. Too far? Maybe. Someone should tell all the adults in his life to fucking grow a pair. No. Just No.
